The Art of Making Anyone Feel at Ease

Coding, data analysis, adaptability – these are all terrific talents to have in life. But did you know that making people feel at ease is a skill in its own right? Having an aura of openness and building genuine connections does not come naturally to everyone, but anyone can work on them. If you want to be that affable go-to, practice the tips below.

Don’t smile if you don’t feel like it. That will have the opposite effect. However, you may want to flash those pearly whites to appear more welcoming. A Trends in Cognitive Sciences study suggests that smiling is contagious. A grin would encourage those around you to mimic your emotional expression. And, according to the University of West Alabama, this helps you seem more approachable and spurs a bond among the group.

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Interpersonal flexibility refers to the ability to adapt depending on the situation. For example, if your new colleague is timid, coming on too strongly won't make them feel at ease. So, use a gentler approach. If a boisterous boardroom drowns out your soft voice, adopt a more assertive stance. Learn to read the room and match your reaction accordingly. 

Funnily enough, eye contact can also make people uncomfortable, so be careful not to go full-on Carrie. Don’t forget to blink. Make your eyes warm and engaged instead of seeming like you’re mustering the Force. Keep it natural – like you would when you’re genuinely interested in something.

Studies say that open body language, such as eye contact, shifting your body towards whom you’re speaking, nodding, and staying loose, makes you more approachable. Likewise, it also makes you easier to warm up to.

Some people are blessed – or cursed – with naturally loud and excitable tones. If you’re one of those, you may want to rein it in. Maybe you're even dominating the room unintentionally and making others feel diffident about speaking up. Adopt a friendly tone of voice with a volume for audibility and clarity, not superiority.

Team this with approachable nonverbal cues and a smile, and you’re golden.

Imagine talking to someone. You’re sharing your life experiences, explaining your point of view, digging deep. The other person is checking their phone, yawning, looking around, filing their nails. Would you feel comfortable? You’d feel unappreciated and probably uninteresting.

A two-sided conversion shows mutual respect, which, in turn, would make anyone feel more at ease since they feel their opinions are important. Practice active listening. Ask follow-up questions. Remember little details in the conversation for the next one.

Making people feel at ease doesn’t end at the first meeting. For example, staying self-contained, self-assured, and in control during a tense work quandary will make your teammates feel better.

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Trust is a crucial ingredient in making others feel relaxed, so don't overlook the impact of a reliable reputation. Pretend you’re the maid of honor in charge of the wedding program. If you’re known to be dependable, your friend, the bride, will sleep better at night confident that the reception will be great. When people know they can trust you, you assure them that all will go well.

When wondering how to make others feel at ease, turn the tables. Think about what would make you comfortable and do that. You don’t have to be a social butterfly to do this. Start by being genuinely nice.